Money

I must write tonight about a lesson life has been trying to teach me for decades about money. I grew up with a stay-at-home mom, and a dad who worked hard, but not smart, therefore not making a lot of income. We had a modest upbringing, and mom can stretch a dollar like nobody else can, as she was a good steward over dad's paychecks, unfortunately Dad barely made enough to feed his six children.  We had food, shelter, toys, and enough, but it was always a struggle. I must have picked that up early on in my childhood. Mom was very frugal, and never shopped, or purchased anything that wasn't necessary. Food, a few clothes, and cheap toiletries was about it. She kept the heat down low to save on utilities, we didn't waste anything. Lights were shut off, things were re-used and so forth, you get the picture.

Fast forward to me today, I've always been a hard worker like my Dad, and always worried about finances. Yes I make enough to survive but not enough to truly go out and splurge on my self or my family. Always bargain shopping, or looking for coupons yeah, that's me. I rarely pay full price for anything, and money, budgeting, and bills take up most of my brain space.

My kids are grown up and adults now, and one still lives here with me. He struggles with self esteem issues, and has difficulty keeping a job. Like his father who had the same issues, I noticed a pattern of repeat. Today I had an ah-ha moment when my son drove home from a new job he was supposed to be at. Like so many times before, I'm at home working away, and the front door opens just two hours after he left for work. It's my son home for the day, didn't want to go to work and just drove home on his break. Luckily I was working and busy at the time but my heart was pounding and I could barely focus on my work wondering what this ding a ling kid is thinking!

After the day had became evening, and after I confided in a good friend as to what happened she gave me some words of wisdom that resonated with me. I decided to to the exact opposite of what I did in the past when one of the kids or ex hubby quit a job out of the blue. My ex hubby pulled this crap all through out our 13 years together, and now my son does it too! That's why I decided my usually reaction is isn't working, so why not do the opposite. Normally I'd scream, and shout, and tell them how stupid they are for quitting, basically making them feel like shit! This time my approach was different. I was calm, cool. collected, and used logic and reasoning instead. After understand and patience, and some coaching, he's going back tomorrow to work! YEAH!

I had an epiphany today! I put money over people! Stems from childhood. I'm not blaming my parents, but I learned at an early age ...that money and having a job was the MOST important thing in life! If anyone is stupid enough to waste a good paying job, they deserved to be yelled at! NOT SO!

People and their self esteem is very important as well, jobs come and go but family is family. Instead of fueling the fire, I gently extinguished it with kindness, love, and support, and I got what I wanted, and he didn't get a verbal assault and feels better about himself to go face the world, and pick himself up off the floor. That's the real skill, learning how to pick yourself back up after facing terrible embarrassment! Fingers crossed for tomorrow, I'll be there cheering him on with support and kindness.

My advise is, if the same reoccurring issues keep popping up in your life, you are not learning anything. As soon as you learn the lesson life is trying ot teach you, the issue will go away.  I hope this is the last time I have to deal with unemployment issues with my kids! I think I've learned my lesson!
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