"Get married and have kids they said, it will be fun they said!"

Remember when your parents badgered you into finding a spouse and the second you were married, they badgered you about giving them their grand kids?  " It will be fun they said"  Yeah RIGHT!!!

25 years later I still get no peace!  Still working my tush off, getting nickle and dime-ed to death except it's more like $10's and 20's now!  I guess now that my baby is 18 I can see the  light at the end of the tunnel, and it's been a long tunnel indeed a quarter of a Century!

Of course now that it's here and done I can't change anything, but I have to wonder who says if you're born a female one MUST marry and have kids?  I'm sure if I was unable to have children I'd be sad sad sad... but then knowing me I tend to make the best of the situation and I'd probably do really cool stuff.

I have made mental notes of what would I do if I never had any kids:

1- Live in a trendy, hip loft in San Francisco and do art, and cool stuff all day

2- Travel, travel travel!

3- Get a PH.D...just take class after class after class and be super smart!

4-  Date and have boyfriends, but don't get tied down to just one, have a flock of them, one for formal occasions, one for causal stuff... you get the idea.

5   Start my own business, and get rich doing what I want, instead of what's good for the family and work whenever I want, instead of always taking the " early bird " shift!

I could go on and on..... but I choose to get married, have 2 kids, and work awfully hard doing it alone as after divorcing and 13 years of marriage, I knew I didn't want to do that again!

My advice to a young girl today would be, wait till your about 30 years old to marry and start a family, don't feel pressure by family or friends who are marrying in droves.  Happily ever after doesn't exist in marriage it's an illusion to get you to do it.  Marriage is very hard work, sacrifice, and compromise.  If your not good at all those things it may not be for you.  Women tend to do most of of the sacrificing in the marriage. Men seem to benefit more from it than women do.  It's hard to handle, and not for the weak either.  If you are headed down the alter..... well .....Best of Luck to ya!

  You're gonna need it!

The battle of working women vs stay at home women

I just finished reading a blog at Huffington Post about a woman who got annoyed when her working hubby asked her "what are you up to today?"   She was a stay at home mom, with school aged children, complaining and getting defensive about curious questions about what she did all day by her husband and others.  She said when hubby got home she was wearing the same pajamas, there were dishes in the sink, and it looked like nothing was done.  She said but they were new dishes, not the breakfast dishes he saw in the morning but dinner dishes.  She blogged as if she had a chip on her shoulder about being a stay at home mom.

  This happens a lot with stay at home moms.  I think most people prefer working, it's fun to get paid actual cash money for the job you do.  It's nice to work with people your age, to have a set schedule, and a set of tasks that need to be completed and praise for a job well done.   But.... if you choose to marry, have kids and stay at home with those kids, you should embrace it and do it with passion and creativity!  

I've done both, I used to work part-time 5AM to 10AM so I had all day with my rug rats.  I'd get up at 4:00 AM prepare for work get home and begin fixing lunch.  Then the hubby would go off to work after lunch, and I had all afternoon and evening to do the at home mom thing.  I'd take the kids to the park, swing on the swings, play out in the yard, we built a small garden to play around in, I made them a sandbox.  In the afternoon I'd get really tired, so I'd take a quick power nap while the kids watched cartoons or kiddo shows just on the couch with them but they were distracted by the tv for a minute so I'd try to catch a couple Zzz's.

I was ALWAYS exhausted!  Being the trooper that I am I'd power through my days, knowing that I'd catch up on sleep Saturday's and Sunday's.  The kids liked to sleep in and were usually just waking up when I'd walk in the door at 10AM! Ex hubby trained them well.  No matter what the day brought, I'd always get the house picked up by bedtime, kitchen cleaned, floors mopped and shined, and everything tidied up before I'd go to bed.  The only time I'd let the housework, laundry or yard-work slide.. is if I was sick on my death bead, then the VCR was playing Barney all day long, while I'd go in and out of a coma sleep only waking if a munchkin was poking me for food or something.

   My ex hubby was very little help around the house, I did 95% of it, even after going back to work full time with day care and all.  He'd change the occasional diaper, and mow the grass when I'd start nagging about how long it was getting, but that's about it.  He would entertain the kids, so I could do all the housework.  That's about all he was good for, which is why we're divorced.  I used to fantasize about a " hands on Dad" going to school functions with me, and picking up the house because he would want it clean as much as I did.  What would that be like?  Hell or just a guy who liked to work and made a good living so I could stay home full-time!  What would that be like? I'll probably never know!! I know for a fact in our almost 13 years of marriage that guy never once bathed a kid, or cleaned a toilet or bathtub!  He'd do the dishes when I nagged him to, and once he mopped the floor, and did such a piss poor job leaving streaks and a film on it I never asked him again, he must have used an entire bottle of pinesol or something!

I've always done it all, worked and took care of my house, I've been a single mom for over 25 years ( I say that because living with the ex was practically like being single)  It's a time consuming thing, and I've moved from exhausted to just tired.  There are days when stuff just doesn't get done, laundry piling up, rings around the bathtub, and stuff that needs to be fixed....  I'll get to it when I get too it!  I'm not going to stress out about it. There are just not enough hours in a day, and I do like to have a bit of R&R after work sometimes!  Nothing wrong with that.

So back to my point about the stay at home blogger, quit complaining, try doing it all with out a husband, and two rowdy boys!  I'd kill to have had the opportunity to be a FULL TIME stay at home mommy, I'd do all kinds of fun stuff with the kiddo's, but not my path in life .....it is what it is

Blaine's 25!

Today we celebrated my son's 25th birthday with a lunch and gifts.  We had to cut it short because he was going to a party his friends were throwing later this evening.

Wow 25 years, holy cow I'm getting old.  As I was driving up to meet him, I had 80's tunes playing LOUD in my Toyota Camry ( grandma car ) I call it.  I'm sure listening to Bon Jovi at full crank pissed off many of the old neighbors in my son's hood! Who cares! YOLO!
 Now-a-days, that genre is no longer considered classic rock, it's moved on down to "oldies".

I strongly believe your level of coolness is determined by what you listened to in High school. Me and my crew always had the dirty dozen blasting from our Sony walk mans.

1- Journey
2  Styx
3   Bon Jovi
4   Foreigner
5   Reo Speedwagon
6   Cheap Trick
7   Rick Springfield
8   Rod Steward
9   The Bee Gees
10  AC/DC

I know many a nerdy mom my age who's never heard of these groups, and yes they are nerds!  When you speak to them, it's all about cooking, cleaning and their kids!  What a bore!  They can't name any music what-so-ever they really dig.  Now, the cool mom's I know all have one thing in common... jamming out to head banging 80's glam bands, and all the so called "classic rock" tunes!

 I like to think of myself as a "cool" mom although my kids strongly disagree.  Anyway, cheers to another 25 years kiddo!  Yes you're stuck with a rocker mom whether you like it or not!

Me today,
still rocking it out like a bad
ass mom!
 
       















     

                                                                             

Things I've never done, but want to do this year

1- Spend an afternoon sitting in a trendy coffee shop writing on my  laptop
 (I'm the only one on the face of the earth who hasn't done this yet)

2- Go to Sedona Arizona, it seems like a pretty cool place

3- Knit legwarmers

4- Become a downtown ambassador

5- Take free online classes through WEBEX ( already enrolled begins March 3rd ) Critical thinking course!        Whoo Hoo

6- Learn how to make Pho and Boeuf Bourguignon a La Julia Child

Good things 2014

I read on Pinterest, or was it Facebook?? (I don't recall) a great idea I've yet to implement.  You get a jar, tie a ribbon around the neck with a sign of some sort.  The idea is to write on a piece of paper any good thing that happens to you that year.  At the end of the year you pull out all the pieces of paper and read it off.   Since I have not done that yet, I thought I'd write it in my blog, so when I do get around finding a jar and a ribbon I won't forget my good things.

Good things 1-  I finally got  a decent raise!
                  2-  Learned to knit super cute beanie hats after 2 months of trial and error using circular needles
                 3- Baby's 18 just landed a job, more money more hours!  YEAH!  This is exciting for me as I was acting like his own personal recruiter/secretary filling out applications, and my email box was flooded with job openings finally the madness will stop!
               4- Boomerang kiddo got a job beginning this week  2/22!  Whew! Finally, my Mom's savings and loan has closed it's purse!
              5- Larger that usual tax return $1,300 back BABY, and I don't have to pay state taxes for the first time in like YEARS!
             6- Baby's 18 and his GF are still hot and heavy, so I get some free time!
            7- Made it into the top 5 sales professionals in the office (no monetary reward for this but that's typical)  
            8- Brock moved out!  Yeah!  (Blaine moved back in)
           9-The Subaru is all mine!  Payments & repairs, I'm grateful!
          10- Brock and Blaine spoke on the phone for the first time in over a year since their falling out, apparent Brock's forgiven and forgotten!
          11- Sold my butchers block for $45 today!  I got it free, and invested a whopping $1.80 for a drawer pull, took it from bad to fab, used it for 5 years then sold it!
          12- Got a really large bonus $1,200 big ones, landed #5 out of 70 sales agents
          13-Landed a better job, more money, cheaper benefits, and no call center! WHOO HOO
         

I know there is another one but I forgot, as soon as I remember I'll up date this blog this is the lamest post thus far!  I'm tired, and worked 12 hours a day for 2 weeks straight...so forgive my, as my brain is fried!

Call People Out

A lot of people say stupid stuff in an effort to one up you, or put you down, or sometimes just to act like they know more that you.  These individuals have very small minds and aren't nearly as smart as they try to be.  Remember that kids!  They have a huge chip on their shoulder, don't take it personally! 

Example:  I had a customer from Ohio call in, of course he was over 60 hard of hearing and not pleasant to speak with. He basically gave me a good deal of grief every time I opened my mouth.  He was trying very hard to  prove he's the older wiser man, by telling me where we were located in his town somewhere in Ohio, and laughing at me each time I said something in an effort to mock and belittle me.... I wasn't having it!   

Now I've never encountered a kind customer from Ohio yet, so I'm more than prepared to deal with this rude old man and Ohio truly isn't someplace I'd move or visit anytime soon... but I digress.   Anyway, this old timer needed storage and kept asking me stupid questions, then of course I'd be quiet while he asked me the questions, then I'd go to answer and he'd interrupt me. 

 Apparently using a telephone isn't a skill he's mastered yet in his 60 plus years on earth! 

Finally I called him out on his shit.... I said to him:  "apparently I irritate and annoy you because you don't like anything I'm telling you about my company or our storage units"  Since he's a customer I did this in the sweetest tone I could muster up.  Then I said "try to have a nice day"  instead of my usual closing line
 "have a great day!"

 By the end of the call he apologized to me for giving me so much grief, and basically acting like an ass hole!  

I accepted his apology and said that renting storage was very stressful ( it's really not but I had to be nice)  he went on about how he didn't mean to make me feel bad, and ya da ya da ya..... I couldn't have cared less about what he said....I got his storage reservation, and I was more than finished with his cantankerous ass!  I'll get my commission, and be on my way thank-you! 

 After speaking with may Ohioans, I won't be visiting here anytime soon! 

Grumpy Old Men

The other day my friend Terri and I were sitting in a movie theater, and the pre-views were showing, we  chatting during this time.  The movie starts and the first face on the screen was Kevin Klein.  I whispered to her "who's that? " and she said "oh... I can't remember...'  Then I said in a hushed whisper     "It's Kevin Klein'   " oh... yeah, she whispers back".   Then out of no where this bald fatty looks at us from the row in front of us,  he was over to the side and he literally yelled " WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP?" 
He literally scared the crap out of us, we were seriously afraid to laugh at the funny parts of the movie for the first half of the show!

I bring this up, because lately I've been yelled at a couple times by angry old men.  Now, I'm 48 years old, so why these older than 55+ men feel the need to yell at me is really beyond my comprehension!  I'm just a happy-go-lucky gal, live and let live, type.... yet for some reason, these angry old timers feel like I deserve to be yelled at.

If we were bothering him so much, all he had to do is lean over, and say " Hey, could you please keep it down, the movie has started?"  in a normal tone of voice.  We would have apologized and stopped whispering and that would be that.
But NOOOOOO!  He had to be a jerk off about it!  We literally sat frozen stiff afraid to even laugh at the funny parts of the movie for at least the first half of it anyway.  Why do grown men feel it's OK to YELL at women who are innocently minding their own business?  Can someone explain this to me?

If you are a man, and reading this, please, please, please don't yell at women, it's scary, and your false teeth my fly out!