Money

I must write tonight about a lesson life has been trying to teach me for decades about money. I grew up with a stay-at-home mom, and a dad who worked hard, but not smart, therefore not making a lot of income. We had a modest upbringing, and mom can stretch a dollar like nobody else can, as she was a good steward over dad's paychecks, unfortunately Dad barely made enough to feed his six children.  We had food, shelter, toys, and enough, but it was always a struggle. I must have picked that up early on in my childhood. Mom was very frugal, and never shopped, or purchased anything that wasn't necessary. Food, a few clothes, and cheap toiletries was about it. She kept the heat down low to save on utilities, we didn't waste anything. Lights were shut off, things were re-used and so forth, you get the picture.

Fast forward to me today, I've always been a hard worker like my Dad, and always worried about finances. Yes I make enough to survive but not enough to truly go out and splurge on my self or my family. Always bargain shopping, or looking for coupons yeah, that's me. I rarely pay full price for anything, and money, budgeting, and bills take up most of my brain space.

My kids are grown up and adults now, and one still lives here with me. He struggles with self esteem issues, and has difficulty keeping a job. Like his father who had the same issues, I noticed a pattern of repeat. Today I had an ah-ha moment when my son drove home from a new job he was supposed to be at. Like so many times before, I'm at home working away, and the front door opens just two hours after he left for work. It's my son home for the day, didn't want to go to work and just drove home on his break. Luckily I was working and busy at the time but my heart was pounding and I could barely focus on my work wondering what this ding a ling kid is thinking!

After the day had became evening, and after I confided in a good friend as to what happened she gave me some words of wisdom that resonated with me. I decided to to the exact opposite of what I did in the past when one of the kids or ex hubby quit a job out of the blue. My ex hubby pulled this crap all through out our 13 years together, and now my son does it too! That's why I decided my usually reaction is isn't working, so why not do the opposite. Normally I'd scream, and shout, and tell them how stupid they are for quitting, basically making them feel like shit! This time my approach was different. I was calm, cool. collected, and used logic and reasoning instead. After understand and patience, and some coaching, he's going back tomorrow to work! YEAH!

I had an epiphany today! I put money over people! Stems from childhood. I'm not blaming my parents, but I learned at an early age ...that money and having a job was the MOST important thing in life! If anyone is stupid enough to waste a good paying job, they deserved to be yelled at! NOT SO!

People and their self esteem is very important as well, jobs come and go but family is family. Instead of fueling the fire, I gently extinguished it with kindness, love, and support, and I got what I wanted, and he didn't get a verbal assault and feels better about himself to go face the world, and pick himself up off the floor. That's the real skill, learning how to pick yourself back up after facing terrible embarrassment! Fingers crossed for tomorrow, I'll be there cheering him on with support and kindness.

My advise is, if the same reoccurring issues keep popping up in your life, you are not learning anything. As soon as you learn the lesson life is trying ot teach you, the issue will go away.  I hope this is the last time I have to deal with unemployment issues with my kids! I think I've learned my lesson!
 NEXT!

Clarifying ?'s

I'm going to dog on men here for a minute. I know women are guilty of this as well, but for the moment I'm calling out men because I've had a rash of men customers who are guilty of this.

I work in customer service, and we get calls from all types of customers, some are super easy to communicate with and some are not. Lately the most difficult type of customer for me has been the old, hard of hearing man, and here is why!

Several times this week, I have had middle aged, or older men land on my phone line, and due to their poor communication skills, it resulted in a frustrating experience.
EXAMPLE 1

ME: ESS I'm Natalie, how may I help you today
HIM: Yeah, I've got a 20 foot trailer I'd like to store
ME:  Okay, sir I'd be happy to assist you with that today, is it a utility trailer, toy hauler ...???????? what type of trailer is it?
HIM:  IT'S A TRAILER!!!!!  (Using that you're a stupid woman tone with me)  
ME:  Is it a camping trailer by chance?
HIM; YES!!!!! (in a pissy I'm tired of talking tone of voice)

I proceeded to find a spot for a "camping trailer" which is an important distinction, since they're all different heights, and there are different requirements on those... but my hell to get pissed off because he calls me with a vague question and when I ask a clarifying question, he gets pissy with me as if I'm the stupid one!  JERK!

EXAMPLE 2   The worst offender:

Me: ESS My name is Natalie, how can I assist you?
HIM: I've been storing with you for 12 years, and I'm looking in the yellow pages and I can't find your number, what is the number for Springfield?

Now...bear in mind he called up my Philadelphia Wayne Junction location's number, so I see that he's a customer, but I wanted (like I always do) to clarify and make sure it's the Wayne Junction number, because I heard him mention Springfield, and since I'm a nation wide number and Springfield is a brand new property, I wanted to make sure he wasn't someone calling the wrong company (which happens a lot with old people)  They call up their storage business thinking we're directly assistance or something!  Very common occurrence!

ME: Okay, I see you're calling the Wayne Junction number, is that the location you're looking for?
HIM: SPRINGFIELD!!! Can I get the number or not!!!

Bear in mind he's hard of hearing, so I literally had to shout this phrase to him about nine times already! 

ME: OKAY, sorry sir, I'm just trying to clarify the location, since I'm a national number and you're calling our Philadelphia location's number, which location are you trying to reach... Springfield what?

Of course despite my yelling into my headset, and speaking very slowly, and trying to figure out what the hell he wants as I'm not directory assistance..... and I've never heard of a Springfield site, I'm making sure of the number he wanted!  I mean why would you call Wayne Junction, if you really wanted Springfield? Hasn't he heard of directory assistance? 

At this point he's getting pissy with me, and acting like I'm the stupid person ( I'm quite sure this happens to him a lot) Finally I tell him "Sir I'm just trying to figure out which location you're asking about, since we have several in the area, let me pull up your account info, and I'll check to see which location you're storing at.... of course he didn't hear me and he went off on a tangent, because he only heard a fraction of what I said and assumed I can't help him... he completely went off on me in a wrong communication direction if you get my metaphor!

To keep a long story short, I pulled up his account my his full name ( getting his name was like pulling teeth)  where he was storing at and got him the number, after much push and pull, and lack of cooperation on his part, plus he needed a hearing aide (that would have helped a ton)  I got him the number, had to repeat it to him several times and remind him multiple times his location is now closed as it's after six pm now.

He asked for my name, I said "Natalie" very slowly and clearly
HIM:  Madelyn???
Me: no, N-a-t-a-l-i-e   Natalie!
HIM: Natmalee??
ME:  No, it's..... N-A-T-A-L-I-E!  NATALIE! 

Geeze finally he got it, and hung up...

Ironically my very next caller was a woman here is how it went:

ME: ESS my name is Natalie, how may I assist you today?
HER:  Hello, I'm looking for the phone number to your Orem, Utah location just off of Center Street, could you give me that number?
ME:  I'd be happy to... (breathing a sigh of relief) finally someone who can ask a clear, concise, question and has ears that work too! ..............it's bla, bla, bla, bla bla.....

Now why the hell can't men do that? Luckily my shift was over, and I can pour myself a stiff drink!

The Real "Meet the Mormons" of Utah

There has been a lot of buzz about this newly released move Meet The Mormons around town by all my Mormon friends of course. One friend told me yesterday that "YOU MUST TAKE YOUR FAMILY TO SEE THIS!" she exclaimed. WOW! What for? I have already read the reviews in all the local and national papers.

I live in Utah, and quite frankly Mormons don't impress me, and I'll tell you why.  I live near 2 churches, and every Sunday when I'm out walking, or in my car I must pass by their church to get out of my neighborhood. If it happens to be at the time church is getting started, you're taking your life in your hands! I've been cut off by large SUV's racing across the street in their Sunday best late for church no doubt. One time I was walking, and was nearly taken out by a white shirted, tied, and dark suited male in a Toyota who damn near killed me when he tried to beat me into the parking lot, I was walking on the sidewalk in front of the parking lot entrance. Good thing I have fast reflexes, and jumped back! He didn't even see me! If this happened once or twice it wouldn't be a big deal. I've lived here nine years, and this has happened each and every time I leave my neighborhood during church beginning time, and ending time. They're rude drivers, and hyper focused on making it to church on time, to hell with the rest of the neighborhood!

The company I work for was founded my a Mormon, BYU graduate, and the CEO is also Mormon as well. Yes they are very nice but don't practice what they preach, because we work every Sunday, and there are no exceptions. Mormon or not if business needs dictate a Sunday schedule, too bad, you work it!

One of my siblings is also a very good card carrying Mormon, and his wife is so darn rude to me it's not funny. She is snarky, ignores me, treats me like I'm invisible because I don't go to church. Yet expects me to attend all her kids baptisms, and blessings, and other events, which I graciously do despite the fact she never acknowledges my existence. I walk into her home (invited mind you) and she never says a word to me! Not a "hello, how are you?"...  nothing! It's kind of a game to me at this point, let's play the: Let's see how rude Julie treats me game! It's just expected and I get a chuckle out of it after all these years.  She never replies to any of my family emails yet everyone else does. I was recently invited to her daughter's baptism and was saddened that I couldn't attend due to my work schedule, so I replied via email telling her so, and nothing back! I sent a card, and a small piece of jewelry I purchased at a local Mormon store to commemorate the happy occasion. She must have received it, yet, no thank-you email, or call to let me know it arrived, no acknowledgment what-so-ever. I've never seen anything like it!!  Treating a FAMILY MEMBER no doubt, who has been nothing but kind and polite to her like a piece of crap!  Really?? When I complain to my Mother who is also staunch Mormon, she brushes it off by saying "oh if you knew her father you'd understand"... um... okay!

It's people like these every day Utahans who go about their lives only caring about themselves, and getting into heaven, for time and all eternity (sounds tedious to me) living with family member's who ignore you for time & all eternity! I'd rather be partying with my cool friends than with some stick-up-her-ass Molly Mo as we call them here!

These are just a few examples of why the "Meet the Mormon's" is a necessary PR campaign for the LDS church. Maybe they can go after the low hanging fruit, and leave us people who know better alone!

I have nothing against this religion, just the dip shit people who act as if they're better than everyone else that's who I have an issue with! No, I won't be paying $9.00 for a movie ticket to see this movie anytime soon, I'd watch it if it were free, but that's it.

My impression of Mormons would be something like this: " Hide the truth! "... "gloss over everything" ... "If we ignore it... it doesn't exist... and for Hell Sakes... don't let all the ward members find out!"

Recycle, Re-purpose, Re-use

Here are two exquisite 
pieces I found, fixed, and hung on the wall.
The print in the picture was a thrift store find I ended up with. The frame was ugly, so I tried painting it, and when I put it all back together, the glass broke! So the new frame is a heavier one I scored at a tag sale for just $5. It is wood, and didn't have a print inside, just matting and an ugly stain color that matches nothing in my house!   With a little Annie Sloan chalk paint and sand paper, I painted, distressed, and sealed it with a wax sealer.  I just love how it turned out!   The roman numeral clock was a bargain find at ROSS.   Only $1.99 on clearance! What a deal! Both look great on my wall above the TV table.

I'm all for re-purposing discarded stuff whether it be on clearance, or at a tag sale, or in the garbage can! So when guests comment on my decor, there is a story to tell....."Oh this is what I found at a tag sale"..... or "I found this chair on the side of the road.. now look at it!" Yup, I love it. Anyone can purchase furniture and home decor and pay the 300% store mark up for it, and watch their money disappear before their eyes, for me I like the thrill of the hunt, the creative process, seeing how I can transform something into a one-of-a-kind piece! 

Pinterest is a huge part of this, it's opened up many creative ideas inside my  head, and is a fabulous source of inspiration. I just love the way my home is turning out, and it's beauty on a budget! 

Highs & Lows

Life is just a long roller coaster ride!  Omg highs and lows.  One minute you're sitting on the couch depressed because it's a weekend and you have no plans, dates, or anything fun going on, just work, laundry, and a long list of to-do's! Then the next weekend you're so busy you're head is spinning!

One second you're arguing with your grown kids, then a few minutes later you're hiking to a wonderful waterfall and have forgotten what the fighting was all about.

Last weekend was just boring, tv watching, cleaning, and Fashion Police Friday, whoop whoop!  This weekend Joan Rivers passed away, no more Fashion Police (my favorite show) but I went hiking, then to a work BBQ/dunk tank at the park event, then to a local pub with some gal friends, everything was just dandy until I went to the parking lot to start my car, and it won't turn over!  We tried jump starting it, not a battery issue, it's new, and reliable and first time I've ever had a problem with it, just out of the clear blue!  I had to leave it in a parking lot out on the west side, far from home!

Highs and lows!   One second you're laughing with your work buddy, the next, worried about the car repair bill, and how the hell you'll get around town!

When I got home, I'm watching the late show and all the living room lights suddenly flick of!  WTF!  I'm down stairs fiddling with the breaker box, and no go..... after 3 tries it works, but the entire time I'm thinking what's next!  If one more thing breaks I'll go BONKERS! 

One second, I'm all excited about this new "fiber" mascara I got in the mail today, it's supposed to increase the length of one's lashes by 300% and only $36.00 with shipping!  (WHAT THE HELL)  It's soooo unlike me to spend $36 dollars on anything especially makeup since I get most of mine free or under a dollar!   Okay....so it's worth it for long lashes right?  Not to mention peer pressure, with these new Facebook "parties" people are doing now-a-days!    I'm high, and happy because my new mascara came in the mail box today, and I'm thrilled with my expensive new purchase, until I apply the stuff and realize I can get the same results from L'Oreal... their tube mascara does the same thing for only $8.00 less with a coupon!   Buyers remorse!  YES!

My son's all high driving his pre-owned Kia around town he purchased all on his own, till 3 days later when it has a mysterious leak coming from the radiator!  As we speak he's running around in and out of the house trying to see what the deal is with a car he's only been driving for a week!   Highs and Lows!   Yup, life's full of disappointments, surprises, and dilemmas!   One second you're on top of the world, the next you're broke and no car!

 My advise is

KEEP CALM, AND ENJOY THE RIDE!

Different Strokes for Different Folks

Living in my little single bubble I forget how it is to be married (duh).  Until something happens and jolts me back to some women's reality.

Recently a few of us gals (I'm being vague to protect this gal's identity) wanted to go in on a gift for someone, an expensive gift and the amount was over $100 each split 5 ways.   As usual I sent out emails to all the gals ( our preferred method of communicating) for them not for me, but I sent out an email letting everyone know that so-and-so, has been there through life events, bearing gifts and support, and now it's his turn.  He recently purchased a home, and was in need of some kitchen appliances.  I thought it would be cool to go in on a new refrigerator as a housewarming gift.  If we chipped in $100 per person we could buy him one.

So married gal had to get "permission" from hubby, not only that, she basically diverted me to said hubby in order to ask him directly, as in her words  " everything that has to do with hubby's family, must be filtered through the hubby"  as in her words " he doesn't like my family, so I make him deal with his"  apparently a bit of a "tit for tat" going on here.

When I was married to a control freak, he hated my family as well as his, so rather than me being a "tit for tat" gal, I just did all of it. I was the go to person on both sides of the family, and I didn't mind.  I was mature enough to recognize that I was the woman, and women general conduct the social business in most families so therefore took up my societal role.  I don't understand some people's logic, or communication styles, but I do know when I'm being ignored and through my endless persistence well, we got her to contribute!

People keep forgetting I'm a professional sales person, and I don't give up easily, if you don't want to contribute just say " no " and I'll write you off as a cheap ass hole!  But, never ignore a sales person, you won't get any rest until you come up with an answer!  ha-ha!

(on a side note, they make plenty of money, so it's not a financial issue, but an I'm a stingy cheap ass religious person issue) 

These petty issues, make me grateful for the way I was raised, to share, and help out my fellow man.... I'd rather donate to a worthy cause, then give 10% of all my earnings to a religious organization so they can build overpriced Temples, and fancy pants shopping malls, and buy more businesses!  

Sigh

My nonsensical employer has me scratching my head yet again!

You see I applied for a position last fall, a recruiting coordinator, I had some of the qualifications on the list and needed 1-3 years of actual recruiting experience. I applied anyway and got declined instantly, no interview, no call, just a pre-determined "form email" of sorts, saying thanks, but no thanks!

 So fast forward to today, I've since enrolled in some college courses, brushed up on my Excel spread sheet stuff, read informative books on career, and the work place, namely how to get ahead at work.

  Then the other day I see the same job posted yet again on the jobs board.  So I inquire about it with my manager, about getting Excel installed on my laptop so I can brush up on it. I get the old "oh... go speak with IT".... they said  "I don't know....go see someone in HR"  so me running from person to person cause they're all passing the buck in my opinion, I go int the HR office. Here is how the conversation goes:

 me:  " Hi Grant you have a second?"
Grant: " Yes come in"
me: so that recruiter position is open again, and I've been taking classes, and have most all of the qualifications for that position, I'd even be willing to take more classes if I can get to my goal of being a recruiter, but it's difficult because the job I do now, in no way prepares me for this next step."
Grant:  "Well to be honest the classes don't really matter, I know Russ (hiring guy) and he's pretty straight forward, with no prior experience he'll just tell you no, you don't qualify."
me:  "So let me see if I understand this.... the only way to get that position, is if I quit working here... and get hired on by a company I've never worked for, as a recruiter, work there for 1-3 years, then apply back here at this company right?"
Grant: "Yep, that's pretty much what you'd have to do."

My thoughts I keep to myself:   Ummmm...... makes perfect sense to me, hire someone from outside the company, with no proven track record, no tenure, no clue how they'll work out, and allow them to make hiring decisions without knowing diddly squat about the storage industry.....just as long as they've been a recruiter for 1-3 years it's all good.... vs, promoting me, with 6 years of dependable, adaptable, teachable proven track record, knows damn near everything about the storage industry and the koo koo bird culture and protocol here......oh and ranked #2  out of 70 sales agents for the 2nd consecutive month in a row..AND won an award for working so freaking hard......but .......OKAY!
 It says a lot as to why our churn rate is way above the target goal of 30%!

Hiking The Rocky Mountain Range

The oldest and I love to hike.  Each summer we plan out day hikes we can take to get in touch with nature and also get to know each other better as well.  This year is no different.  We began our hiking routine again last weekend when we decided to hike up Mill - D trail up to Dog lake.

It was a beautiful hike up Big Cottonwood Canyon just above our home.   It was so green and lush, and the smell of the pine tree forest was just so refreshingly pleasant.  We hiked up a stead incline for 2.5 miles the last stretch was the worst of it 20 minutes of full on up hill hiking.   I really had to push myself to make it up the steep incline, and my legs were burning!  It was worth it though, because the lake was clear and so pretty, and an adolescent moose came down from the trees to drink from the lake right next to us.  It was such a pretty day, after we got down the mountain, we decided to go to Sapa for Sushi it was sooo yum, yum, yummy, we filled up on delicious sushi rolls and then rolled on home.

What a great day, here are some pic's of the hiking trail. 

Texting

Texting can be a double edged sword, and a complete annoyance to me.  It's great for quick info from family, and friends....but put a classified ad out into cyber space with a cell number and all the Koo Koo Birds come out to play!


Maybe I'm just getting old, but sometimes I find texting a royal pain in the ass.  Take last night, I have a car for sale and put an ad on a classified website page.  Some ding-a-ling calls the land line, I run upstairs to answer the ringing phone it's a message it said:  "Please hold for a text to land line voice message"   I hang up and hear my cell alert go off, text message.  The guy and I are texting back and forth, he's asking all sorts of questions about the car, and I'm typing on a teeny tiny keypad ( felt like a novel)    I though to myself :  Is texting just a Chicken Shit way to avoid speaking to someone?   Why are people so leery about calling and talking to an actual person?  The texting back and forth took 20 minutes, when in fact if the guy had the balls to just call his questions could have been answered in 2 minutes.

I view people who text instead of calling as  cowards!  Too chicken to call and talk to someone, maybe they have social anxiety or something I don't know really know but it's a head scratch-er

!

Free Time

Every now and then, I get someone who will ask me "What do you do in your free time?"   I find this a strange, yet annoying question.

What is the motive behind it?  Are they asking because I'm single, and they're not?  or because they can't think of anything fun to do in their free time, so they're trying to gain ideas?  or they're just nosy?  I don't know because I've never really asked someone this stupid question before!   So for the record, here is what I do for fun as a single middle aged woman who works 40+ hours a week!

1- GYM TIME- that includes yoga, Zumba, fitness classes, swimming, and hot-tub/steam-room sitting
2-Tennis ( lessons, games, and workouts)
3- Shopping either by myself, or with a friend
4- Dinners out with friends/dates
5- Concerts, and musical entertainment shows
6- Movies
7- Hiking/walking/bike-riding
8- Reading
9- Meditating
10- Gourmet cooking/baking
11- Taking 2 online courses from Harvard!  (Yeah!)

I love going downtown and exploring new places, I love to curl up and read, in the summer I find a sunny or shady space usually on my lounge chair on my deck and read the afternoon away.  These are all things I like doing in my free time.  I have a pool so in the summertime I have pool parties, and swim for fitness and fun.

I have a large 2500 square foot condo, and as a single person that's a lot of cleaning and maintenance. I do most the work myself, I paint, decorate, make things for the house, refurbish old pieces of furniture, by sanding and painting them in my garage, sometimes I sell pieces for extra income.  I love spending free time puttering around the house making things nice and cozy.  I sew my own pillows, draperies, and other decorative things, I made my own cornice boxes, and installed them, I install all my own window treatments and anything else I need hung, assembled, or installed I do it myself.

I own 2 cars, I get them repaired, or change out the oil, if it's broken I fix it.  I have 2 cats that require a small amount of work, making sure they have food, water, tracking them down if they're lost outside, playing with them.  I have 2 kids, who are very independent but at least once or twice a week require attention from me, for rides, shopping trips, help with resume's bank accounts you name it.

My Condo takes up a lot of my time, just the cleaning, deck maintenance, and garage stuff gobbles up all my free time.  In other words, I'm a full time employee, and a full time homemaker/Mom/repair person.... oh .... and during the summer months I have a little pool maintenance gig on the side.  I wake early before the pool opens up for the day and clean it.  Decks, chairs, and vacuum it all,  check water samples, repair what is broken... you get the idea!

I do all this stuff myself, I don't delegate it out to others, or boss people around, I love the process, the learning part of it as well as the satisfaction of doing things myself, and not just paying someone to do work for me.

I'm always busy with something, so that's why I find this question so odd!  Another thing I do is mind my own business, so you'll never catch me asking someone   "Hey what do you do in your free time?"  Just to be nosy, or who knows what the motive is Seriously!  Sometimes depending on who's asking I think they are just phishing for information,  or they assume because I'm single I sit at home all day and night twiddling my thumbs or something!  Which if that's the motive, that annoys me even more, because single people are the busiest around! ....I wish if they want me to do something with them, just ASK!   I hate people who are vague and call you up to say "Hey what are you doing?" So you tell them, and they really called to see if you wanted to go somewhere with them.  Just ASK!  Because if you ask me what I"m doing, well, I'm ALWAYS doing something interesting, and if your invite is MORE interesting, then you may have a date!   But don't be vague about it, just ASK!

                           
                           One of many favorite hiking spots, up at Snowbird Ski Resort!  Love it up there!

The Universal Law of Attraction is working in my favor

I've been asking the universe to please make my son (18) be nicer to me, he's usually nasty, rude and completely self absorbed…… pretty typical behavior unfortunately!  

I've been thinking these thoughts for a week or so… envisioning peace and harmony… He blew my mind today. 

He wanted to borrow my car (his is in the shop) to take his GF out to lunch, then for a walk down Dimple Dell Trail…. I'm off in 2 hours and want my car when I'm off, so I tell him, yes, but please be back by 3:30 today.

They don’t show up till  4:30…. one hour late, now usually when stuff like this happens, I call him out on it, and he yells at me, and we get into it…and all hell breaks loose…I end up hating him, and wishing he'd move the hell out! ......instead... today, I though nice positive thoughts, practiced the secret…. and knew he'd be back soon with my car safe and sound!  Then instead of getting anxiety over it, racked with worry about what the ding-a-ling is doing with my beautiful car….. I relaxed and told myself….."it's a nice day, go outside and spray paint those ugly gold picture frames you bought at the thrift store weeks ago, and get that project checked of your to do list!" ...."Everything will be fine, your beautiful, luxurious, Camry will be back soon safe and sound!"

He comes in the house at 4:30 I just go about my business not saying anything to him…(the exact opposite of what I usually do… normally I'd storm downstairs all butt hurt by his blatant disregard for my time and property!!!)

He says to me in a calm polite voice…… "Hey Mom….. sorry about being an hour late, I was careful with the car, and I won't do it again"…   " We wanted to go to the library too but we didn't because I thought you'd be mad at us for doing that without asking you first"………….

I about dropped my jaw!  Who are you????  Wait….. it's the Secret working it's magic on my family!  Hee Hee Hee….   MIND BLOWING!    I then gave him permission to take it to the library….

I've been nagging him to do his laundry for weeks, and he's lazy, and has dirty clothes all over his room, and in baskets in my laundry room piling up everywhere driving me cray cray!!  So today as I took out my clothes from the dryer, I asked the universe to please get my son to do his dirty clothes today, and I believed he would with all my mind... I kid you not! ...This very moment as I'm typing this I hear him start a load of laundry!  WTF???  

WOW, I'm blown away!  

                        ASK, BELIEVE, RECEIVE!  

My house is messy and I don't give a flying "BLEEP"

Oh my!  It's been a crazy month.  Usually I'm very neat and tidy, but lately I'm running from morning till night, cleaning up a smidge here and a spot there, but no time for my usually Saturday off, all day Clean-a-Thon!

You see I've been working hard, and doing overtime like to the tune of 50 hours per week!  Then in my free time I'm either blogging, FaceBooking, Pinteresting stuff, Texting people...driving my son around (his car is broken down) and he needs rides everywhere. Coupon-ing, cooking, and laundry!

Hanging out with his new girlfriend while he's at work, Wheeler Farm, IKEA for new bedding Shopping, doing hair and feet stuff, reading, studying stuff, keeping up with the Kardashians, Honey BOO BOO, and of course the Andy Cohen and the Real housewives series!  Going to the gym, walking the neighborhood, chatting it up with neighbors I haven't seen all winter calling .... friends, family, helping my friend move to California, house sitting stuff like that.  Today was so sunny and warm I wasted even more time by putting a leash on my cat, and walking him around outside for a half hour or so so he can enjoy the out of doors too!

Needless to say, all this activity and my house is a mess!  YUCK! So I'm off tomorrow, and wanted to get up to the gym while I'm on a roll, baby's 18 doesn't have to work till 1:30 PM, and I have a few hours in the morning to work my house stuff, then my friend FB'd me wants to go out to lunch.... .guess the house will be messy one more day, as after lunch, is carpool, then mom's birthday dinner, and it's payday so I must pay bills, and run errands and so forth!

Being single can be exhausting, because nobody to delegate your work to.  I was hoping to call a furnace fix it guy, as Mr, heater is on the fritz again, I have a leak in my shower knobs, baby's car is in need of attention, and I'm just trying to keep my head above water!

  Guess a quick round the room pick up, and I'm off!
Still working tonight as I type this blog, it's my 8PM night
 I scratch my head and wonder how I do it all!
Don't come to my house till next weekend, as the forecast calls for messy, dirty, and cluttery all week long!

"Get married and have kids they said, it will be fun they said!"

Remember when your parents badgered you into finding a spouse and the second you were married, they badgered you about giving them their grand kids?  " It will be fun they said"  Yeah RIGHT!!!

25 years later I still get no peace!  Still working my tush off, getting nickle and dime-ed to death except it's more like $10's and 20's now!  I guess now that my baby is 18 I can see the  light at the end of the tunnel, and it's been a long tunnel indeed a quarter of a Century!

Of course now that it's here and done I can't change anything, but I have to wonder who says if you're born a female one MUST marry and have kids?  I'm sure if I was unable to have children I'd be sad sad sad... but then knowing me I tend to make the best of the situation and I'd probably do really cool stuff.

I have made mental notes of what would I do if I never had any kids:

1- Live in a trendy, hip loft in San Francisco and do art, and cool stuff all day

2- Travel, travel travel!

3- Get a PH.D...just take class after class after class and be super smart!

4-  Date and have boyfriends, but don't get tied down to just one, have a flock of them, one for formal occasions, one for causal stuff... you get the idea.

5   Start my own business, and get rich doing what I want, instead of what's good for the family and work whenever I want, instead of always taking the " early bird " shift!

I could go on and on..... but I choose to get married, have 2 kids, and work awfully hard doing it alone as after divorcing and 13 years of marriage, I knew I didn't want to do that again!

My advice to a young girl today would be, wait till your about 30 years old to marry and start a family, don't feel pressure by family or friends who are marrying in droves.  Happily ever after doesn't exist in marriage it's an illusion to get you to do it.  Marriage is very hard work, sacrifice, and compromise.  If your not good at all those things it may not be for you.  Women tend to do most of of the sacrificing in the marriage. Men seem to benefit more from it than women do.  It's hard to handle, and not for the weak either.  If you are headed down the alter..... well .....Best of Luck to ya!

  You're gonna need it!

The battle of working women vs stay at home women

I just finished reading a blog at Huffington Post about a woman who got annoyed when her working hubby asked her "what are you up to today?"   She was a stay at home mom, with school aged children, complaining and getting defensive about curious questions about what she did all day by her husband and others.  She said when hubby got home she was wearing the same pajamas, there were dishes in the sink, and it looked like nothing was done.  She said but they were new dishes, not the breakfast dishes he saw in the morning but dinner dishes.  She blogged as if she had a chip on her shoulder about being a stay at home mom.

  This happens a lot with stay at home moms.  I think most people prefer working, it's fun to get paid actual cash money for the job you do.  It's nice to work with people your age, to have a set schedule, and a set of tasks that need to be completed and praise for a job well done.   But.... if you choose to marry, have kids and stay at home with those kids, you should embrace it and do it with passion and creativity!  

I've done both, I used to work part-time 5AM to 10AM so I had all day with my rug rats.  I'd get up at 4:00 AM prepare for work get home and begin fixing lunch.  Then the hubby would go off to work after lunch, and I had all afternoon and evening to do the at home mom thing.  I'd take the kids to the park, swing on the swings, play out in the yard, we built a small garden to play around in, I made them a sandbox.  In the afternoon I'd get really tired, so I'd take a quick power nap while the kids watched cartoons or kiddo shows just on the couch with them but they were distracted by the tv for a minute so I'd try to catch a couple Zzz's.

I was ALWAYS exhausted!  Being the trooper that I am I'd power through my days, knowing that I'd catch up on sleep Saturday's and Sunday's.  The kids liked to sleep in and were usually just waking up when I'd walk in the door at 10AM! Ex hubby trained them well.  No matter what the day brought, I'd always get the house picked up by bedtime, kitchen cleaned, floors mopped and shined, and everything tidied up before I'd go to bed.  The only time I'd let the housework, laundry or yard-work slide.. is if I was sick on my death bead, then the VCR was playing Barney all day long, while I'd go in and out of a coma sleep only waking if a munchkin was poking me for food or something.

   My ex hubby was very little help around the house, I did 95% of it, even after going back to work full time with day care and all.  He'd change the occasional diaper, and mow the grass when I'd start nagging about how long it was getting, but that's about it.  He would entertain the kids, so I could do all the housework.  That's about all he was good for, which is why we're divorced.  I used to fantasize about a " hands on Dad" going to school functions with me, and picking up the house because he would want it clean as much as I did.  What would that be like?  Hell or just a guy who liked to work and made a good living so I could stay home full-time!  What would that be like? I'll probably never know!! I know for a fact in our almost 13 years of marriage that guy never once bathed a kid, or cleaned a toilet or bathtub!  He'd do the dishes when I nagged him to, and once he mopped the floor, and did such a piss poor job leaving streaks and a film on it I never asked him again, he must have used an entire bottle of pinesol or something!

I've always done it all, worked and took care of my house, I've been a single mom for over 25 years ( I say that because living with the ex was practically like being single)  It's a time consuming thing, and I've moved from exhausted to just tired.  There are days when stuff just doesn't get done, laundry piling up, rings around the bathtub, and stuff that needs to be fixed....  I'll get to it when I get too it!  I'm not going to stress out about it. There are just not enough hours in a day, and I do like to have a bit of R&R after work sometimes!  Nothing wrong with that.

So back to my point about the stay at home blogger, quit complaining, try doing it all with out a husband, and two rowdy boys!  I'd kill to have had the opportunity to be a FULL TIME stay at home mommy, I'd do all kinds of fun stuff with the kiddo's, but not my path in life .....it is what it is

Blaine's 25!

Today we celebrated my son's 25th birthday with a lunch and gifts.  We had to cut it short because he was going to a party his friends were throwing later this evening.

Wow 25 years, holy cow I'm getting old.  As I was driving up to meet him, I had 80's tunes playing LOUD in my Toyota Camry ( grandma car ) I call it.  I'm sure listening to Bon Jovi at full crank pissed off many of the old neighbors in my son's hood! Who cares! YOLO!
 Now-a-days, that genre is no longer considered classic rock, it's moved on down to "oldies".

I strongly believe your level of coolness is determined by what you listened to in High school. Me and my crew always had the dirty dozen blasting from our Sony walk mans.

1- Journey
2  Styx
3   Bon Jovi
4   Foreigner
5   Reo Speedwagon
6   Cheap Trick
7   Rick Springfield
8   Rod Steward
9   The Bee Gees
10  AC/DC

I know many a nerdy mom my age who's never heard of these groups, and yes they are nerds!  When you speak to them, it's all about cooking, cleaning and their kids!  What a bore!  They can't name any music what-so-ever they really dig.  Now, the cool mom's I know all have one thing in common... jamming out to head banging 80's glam bands, and all the so called "classic rock" tunes!

 I like to think of myself as a "cool" mom although my kids strongly disagree.  Anyway, cheers to another 25 years kiddo!  Yes you're stuck with a rocker mom whether you like it or not!

Me today,
still rocking it out like a bad
ass mom!
 
       















     

                                                                             

Things I've never done, but want to do this year

1- Spend an afternoon sitting in a trendy coffee shop writing on my  laptop
 (I'm the only one on the face of the earth who hasn't done this yet)

2- Go to Sedona Arizona, it seems like a pretty cool place

3- Knit legwarmers

4- Become a downtown ambassador

5- Take free online classes through WEBEX ( already enrolled begins March 3rd ) Critical thinking course!        Whoo Hoo

6- Learn how to make Pho and Boeuf Bourguignon a La Julia Child

Good things 2014

I read on Pinterest, or was it Facebook?? (I don't recall) a great idea I've yet to implement.  You get a jar, tie a ribbon around the neck with a sign of some sort.  The idea is to write on a piece of paper any good thing that happens to you that year.  At the end of the year you pull out all the pieces of paper and read it off.   Since I have not done that yet, I thought I'd write it in my blog, so when I do get around finding a jar and a ribbon I won't forget my good things.

Good things 1-  I finally got  a decent raise!
                  2-  Learned to knit super cute beanie hats after 2 months of trial and error using circular needles
                 3- Baby's 18 just landed a job, more money more hours!  YEAH!  This is exciting for me as I was acting like his own personal recruiter/secretary filling out applications, and my email box was flooded with job openings finally the madness will stop!
               4- Boomerang kiddo got a job beginning this week  2/22!  Whew! Finally, my Mom's savings and loan has closed it's purse!
              5- Larger that usual tax return $1,300 back BABY, and I don't have to pay state taxes for the first time in like YEARS!
             6- Baby's 18 and his GF are still hot and heavy, so I get some free time!
            7- Made it into the top 5 sales professionals in the office (no monetary reward for this but that's typical)  
            8- Brock moved out!  Yeah!  (Blaine moved back in)
           9-The Subaru is all mine!  Payments & repairs, I'm grateful!
          10- Brock and Blaine spoke on the phone for the first time in over a year since their falling out, apparent Brock's forgiven and forgotten!
          11- Sold my butchers block for $45 today!  I got it free, and invested a whopping $1.80 for a drawer pull, took it from bad to fab, used it for 5 years then sold it!
          12- Got a really large bonus $1,200 big ones, landed #5 out of 70 sales agents
          13-Landed a better job, more money, cheaper benefits, and no call center! WHOO HOO
         

I know there is another one but I forgot, as soon as I remember I'll up date this blog this is the lamest post thus far!  I'm tired, and worked 12 hours a day for 2 weeks straight...so forgive my, as my brain is fried!

Call People Out

A lot of people say stupid stuff in an effort to one up you, or put you down, or sometimes just to act like they know more that you.  These individuals have very small minds and aren't nearly as smart as they try to be.  Remember that kids!  They have a huge chip on their shoulder, don't take it personally! 

Example:  I had a customer from Ohio call in, of course he was over 60 hard of hearing and not pleasant to speak with. He basically gave me a good deal of grief every time I opened my mouth.  He was trying very hard to  prove he's the older wiser man, by telling me where we were located in his town somewhere in Ohio, and laughing at me each time I said something in an effort to mock and belittle me.... I wasn't having it!   

Now I've never encountered a kind customer from Ohio yet, so I'm more than prepared to deal with this rude old man and Ohio truly isn't someplace I'd move or visit anytime soon... but I digress.   Anyway, this old timer needed storage and kept asking me stupid questions, then of course I'd be quiet while he asked me the questions, then I'd go to answer and he'd interrupt me. 

 Apparently using a telephone isn't a skill he's mastered yet in his 60 plus years on earth! 

Finally I called him out on his shit.... I said to him:  "apparently I irritate and annoy you because you don't like anything I'm telling you about my company or our storage units"  Since he's a customer I did this in the sweetest tone I could muster up.  Then I said "try to have a nice day"  instead of my usual closing line
 "have a great day!"

 By the end of the call he apologized to me for giving me so much grief, and basically acting like an ass hole!  

I accepted his apology and said that renting storage was very stressful ( it's really not but I had to be nice)  he went on about how he didn't mean to make me feel bad, and ya da ya da ya..... I couldn't have cared less about what he said....I got his storage reservation, and I was more than finished with his cantankerous ass!  I'll get my commission, and be on my way thank-you! 

 After speaking with may Ohioans, I won't be visiting here anytime soon! 

Grumpy Old Men

The other day my friend Terri and I were sitting in a movie theater, and the pre-views were showing, we  chatting during this time.  The movie starts and the first face on the screen was Kevin Klein.  I whispered to her "who's that? " and she said "oh... I can't remember...'  Then I said in a hushed whisper     "It's Kevin Klein'   " oh... yeah, she whispers back".   Then out of no where this bald fatty looks at us from the row in front of us,  he was over to the side and he literally yelled " WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP?" 
He literally scared the crap out of us, we were seriously afraid to laugh at the funny parts of the movie for the first half of the show!

I bring this up, because lately I've been yelled at a couple times by angry old men.  Now, I'm 48 years old, so why these older than 55+ men feel the need to yell at me is really beyond my comprehension!  I'm just a happy-go-lucky gal, live and let live, type.... yet for some reason, these angry old timers feel like I deserve to be yelled at.

If we were bothering him so much, all he had to do is lean over, and say " Hey, could you please keep it down, the movie has started?"  in a normal tone of voice.  We would have apologized and stopped whispering and that would be that.
But NOOOOOO!  He had to be a jerk off about it!  We literally sat frozen stiff afraid to even laugh at the funny parts of the movie for at least the first half of it anyway.  Why do grown men feel it's OK to YELL at women who are innocently minding their own business?  Can someone explain this to me?

If you are a man, and reading this, please, please, please don't yell at women, it's scary, and your false teeth my fly out!